Negative Nancy

Dear Tina,

Over the last year I’ve noticed a gradual change in my attitude about life and the people around me. I have been getting more and more irritable, frustrated, angry and annoyed. Even though I feel these things, I don’t recognize myself at all. I have always been the one that others go to for support and help. I used to pride myself on that. I want to get myself back, but I just don’t want to be around anyone. What can I do?

—Negative Nancy

Dear Negative Nancy,

First of all, don’t beat yourself up. Doing so will only set in more unproductive energy that you will have to clear up to find yourself again. Listen to what comes up for you and express it.

My guess would be that you are actually a natural healer — meaning you have an innate gift to channel energy through you to the ground, filter or shift energy around you. It seems like you have done this your entire life and unfortunately boundaries were not in place. Little by little you likely absorbed so much energy from those around you and in return you depleted your own natural energy.

In order to remedy this situation, your system naturally shut down a little. That is why you feel like you don’t want to be around people. Depending on which healing gift you have, you likely shut down the matching chakra (or a few) so as to not absorb or give away any more energy. Now, it may not be the best way to protect you because it is changing your attitude a bit; however, it was the fastest way you could control what was happening to you. Your gift was spinning out of control and you instinctually halted it in its tracks.

The two most important things you should be focusing on during this time are grounding and boundaries. Grounding (briefly put) is your stable connection that allows you to release and let go of energy that doesn’t serve you, leaving you room for your own replenishing energy to return. Boundaries are your way of defining what is you and what is not you. Boundaries don’t necessarily restrict energy from coming and going like your system is doing now, instead they act as an alarm system. A good boundary will alert you if there is an “intruder” or, in this case, energy that is not yours to keep. Grounding and boundaries are, in my opinion, the two most important energy techniques one can use to maintain their energy and fulfill their purpose in life. There are many techniques to achieve both of these, and we go over a number of them in our self-healing courses at The Chakra House. We also carry a number of books on energy techniques like these in our boutique.

Good luck, and keep remembering who you really are!