With the holidays rapidly approaching, I am already feeling panicked about family get-togethers. I don’t get along with my family and feel like they don’t understand me. I need help knowing how to handle being with people that bring out the bad side of me.
—Black Sheep
Dear Black Sheep,
Family is interesting whether biological, in-laws or caretakers in general. There are three main areas that you can work on to make the holidays at least bearable if not pleasant. The first and main area to work with is your boundaries.
Boundaries can be light or extremely strong depending on the situation. The most important thing to remember is that an energetic boundary is not meant to keep others out and yourself in. Instead a boundary is meant to define where your energy ends and another energy begins. Before meeting with family, take a few moments or more to check in with your boundaries. Imagine, feel or ask for a color, substance or light is surrounding you. Practice feeling, seeing are listening to where your energy starts and stops. This definition works surprisingly well in keeping yourself strong and open at the same time. When you define what and where you are, you will feel more confident and less defensive.
Boundaries can be light or extremely strong depending on the situation. The most important thing to remember is that an energetic boundary is not meant to keep others out and yourself in. Instead a boundary is meant to define where your energy ends and another energy begins. Before meeting with family, take a few moments or more to check in with your boundaries. Imagine, feel or ask for a color, substance or light is surrounding you. Practice feeling, seeing are listening to where your energy starts and stops. This definition works surprisingly well in keeping yourself strong and open at the same time. When you define what and where you are, you will feel more confident and less defensive.
Grounding is always my favorite energy technique. When it comes to being in difficult company it is crucial to help you release energy that doesn’t feel right to you. It is very easy to get triggered by family and when you get triggered, old energy resurfaces and sometimes takes over who you are now. Making sure you are grounded will insure you are constantly releasing these triggers. Grounding also lets you release energy that you may absorb from those around you. Whether people realize it or not, we are constantly absorbing energy from people around us and family is usually where those relationships begin.
The 10th Chakra is another place to check out. This chakra sits below your feet and deals with many areas in our lives including family heritage and ancestry. If you notice a lot of repeated family patterns that go from generation to generation, it is possible that your 10th chakra is unbalanced and taking on energy from relatives you may not even know.
Whatever you discover, remember and be confident with who you are, maintain your state of being regardless of what triggers you, and take moments before and after the visit to insure that you are in the best energetic space you can be.
—Tina Bensman
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