Dear Tina,
Every year I make a New Year’s resolution to do something spectacular and a few weeks later it fades. I feel like a failure, give up and don’t address what I wanted to change until the next new year. This year, I am feeling worse than ever. I am not as physically healthy as I’d like to be, but my relationships are also suffering. I’m just not feeling like I know who I am anymore. I think (hope) my life will come together when I connect with myself again. What can I do to maintain my resolution this year of connecting with myself, losing weight and repairing struggling relationships?
—Losing my Resolutions
Dear Losing my Resolutions,
Well — you are not alone. It is rare to hear of someone maintaining their original New Year’s resolutions. In my experience this is nearly always due to the inner personalities we all hear chattering away in our heads. If you think this sounds crazy, then keep reading!
We all have parts of ourselves that seem to freeze in time when we develop beliefs about what life is all about. For example, a part of us might feel that all relationships cause pain, while another part of us yearns for connection and knows that relationships also bring joy. In many ways, both of these parts are correct, but when we get stuck in one belief and that part speaks louder than our other selves it can be really challenging to stick with a goal of any kind.
This is not a quick remedy, but the most effective way of solving these inner debates is to listen to the voices within. Listen to the battles. You may be surprised at what you discover about your inner self related to beliefs on physical health, weight, relationships, healing, and feeling replenished and joyful. There is a reason that a part of you may not want to achieve these seemingly healthy things. Intellectually, you may not understand why you would not choose health, but there may be a deeper reason or benefit that when unlocked can be unbelievably eye opening and life changing.
