Don't Like Being Alone

Dear Tina,

I have always valued relationships; however, I seem to need people around me at all times. It’s difficult for me to be alone, and I recognize this as a potential issue. Is there something wrong with my energy? Why can’t I just be alone with thoughts?

—Alone-a-phobic

Dear Alone-a-phobic,

Well first off, there is nothing wrong with your energy; it is just not working for you the way you want it to. This issue can be addressed in many different ways.

I would start by evaluating your 4th chakra. Even without knowing much about the chakra system, you can start to check on this area yourself with a few tips. The 4th chakra is located in and around your heart and upper back. This space regulates relationships, compassion, giving and receiving, connections, forgiveness and other heart-centered areas of life. Start on the physical side of your well-being. Do you have tension in your upper back or heaviness on your heart? Do you feel too open or vulnerable? If you notice anything physically in this area, then there is an imbalance here.

Next, move to the mental and emotional sides. You’ve already recognized that it is difficult to be alone and that you need people around you. Look deeper and ask yourself why. What happens when you are alone? Are your thoughts overwhelming and do you have trouble quieting your mind? Do you feel like your emotions are out of your control? If so, then there may also be imbalances in your 2nd and 3rd chakras.

To reassure you, imbalances are not only common but also normal. In almost all cases, imbalances exist so that we can evaluate our lives and make changes if necessary. The fact that you recognize that your need for relationships is not working for you shows that you are ready for a change. It is your choice to shift your focus, examine the beliefs you hold about yourself and others, and decide whether to make a change or stay where you are. There is not a right or wrong choice — just a productive or unproductive one for your energy.